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Why do the Vietnamese have such two extreme attitudes towards China?

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This is similar to when you have to sit right next to a bullish classmate. And there's no teacher! (The United Nations means nothing to China.) The Vietnamese’s varying attitudes (foreign policy) toward the big, aggressive China has to be flexible depending on China’s bullying behavior. They have more than a thousand ỷears of experience on how to deal with this giant neighbor.

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They might, but honestly they've been next to China for thousands of years, and will continue to be next to China for the foreseeable future.

Hating China won't do much, and they don't fear China as they've been shown to be able to handle their own.

So extremism doesn't do much, realistically. No one's gonna give you a medal just because you hate China in Vietnam.

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Chi Do gives a good answer.

But, I tend to look at the subject going back to Trưng Trắc and Trưng Nhị, two thousand years ago. The Trưng Sisters (Hai Bà Trưng). For at least two thousand years China has been trying to conquer what is now named Vietnam. This makes the Vietnamese very cautious about China. Note, anyone who does not know who the Hai Bà Trưng are doesn’t know enough about Vietnamese history to say anything useful.

But, China does provide much of Vietnamese Culture. Historically, the warfare between China and Vietnam is burned into the Vietnamese soul, Culturally Vietnam and China have many similarities.

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What exactly are these two extreme attitudes? From my experience the average Vietnamese person thinks very little about China. Sure, the more politically conscious might have strong opinions, due to proximity if nothing else, but most Vietnamese people are not politically conscious.

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